Dancing In The Morgue - Chapter 14

I Want You

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

~ Carl W. Buechner

Emily didn't work on Sundays. Thank God!
But she still had to do chores around the house, still, she was usually done by noon and had the afternoon all for herself.
That Sunday, though, was a special Sunday.
She and Spencer had agreed over the phone that they were going to be together again to talk about her mom's case, since the last time they were together they barely talked about anything because they were too busy kissing. This time, though, it had to be different.
Spencer had tried convincing the team it was better if someone else talked to her, or at least if someone was with him, but they all agreed it'd be better for Spencer to talk to her alone. He obviously didn't tell his team about the kiss. He didn't tell anyone. And neither did she.
It was their dirty little secret. Even dirtier was the fact that they both wanted more. Far beyond dirty was the fact that they both wanted to finish what they have started. Emily undid her buttons and was ready to do the same thing to Spencer's shirt. She wanted it. He wanted it. No one of them really knew why, though. They found each other attractive enough. But Emily wasn't fond of sex with someone she barely knew. And neither did he. He wasn't very comfortable with the idea of having sex, to begin with. He wasn't a virgin, of course, but you can't say Spencer Reid has had a lot of pussy. He found reading a lot more entertaining than introducing his penis into someone's vagina. He considered himself not very good in bed. And so did she. She didn't exactly know what to do, mostly because her former (and only) boyfriend would do everything and sometimes she would almost fall asleep because well, her boyfriend maybe wasn't too good either. So to her, sex was not as great as it is for most people.

They were going to meet in a public place, they both decided it'd be at Starbucks near Emily's house. Nana Beth was spending the weekend at Aunt Daisy's, so it wouldn't be safe to go to her house. Being alone together wasn't a good idea.
They'd probably need some privacy to talk about a federal case, though. None of them thought of that, which is surprising since at least Spencer would always think of everything. Truth is, since the kiss happened his thinking skills have been slowed down a little. Sill faster than those ofaverage people but not the usual Spencer Reid.

Four PM. Surprisingly, it wasn't as cold as it usually is on that time of the year, so Emily could wear a tee shirt. Her favorite tee with Jack Skellington's smiley face. She had that tee even before she knew who Tim Burton was. Her Nan gave it to her a long time ago and she had kept it all those years even though it was now a little tight, especially on her breasts and hips. She didn't mind, though.
Spencer, on the other hand, didn't even consider dressing like everyone else at Starbucks. He didn't feel comfortable wearing what everyone else calls normal clothes. He hasn't worn a normal t-shirt since he was probably fifteen.

"Hi Spencer." Emily said timidly, looking at Spencer, avoiding eye contact as much as she could. She would normally kiss both his cheeks, it was something people did in Europe whenever they met with someone. Her Grandma told her that. But she couldn't kiss Spencer. Not even on the cheek. She couldn't touch him. If she did, she would feel that warmness on the soul yet again. She loved it and she wanted to feel it again, but shecouldn't.

"Emily..." he stuttered. "How are you?"

"Ahm..." she didn't know what to say. She wanted to kiss him. But they weren't alone. "Spencer, I..." she was about to tell him that she was sorry for what happened last time they were together. But she wasn't sorry for anything. Truthfully, she didn't regret those few seconds when she felt his lips on hers. She was only sorry that she could never do it again. "I... I'm sorry for... the other day." she lied.

She glanced up at his face and saw a little smile, as he rubbed the back of his head.
"It's okay..." he said, trying to make it sound like it wasn't much of a big deal. "I get it." She gave him a tiny smile "you feel lonely and want to believe a relationship would ease that pain and I was the first male to actually treat you like you wanted to be treated, or at least how you believed you wanted to be treated and..." He stopped himself right there.

Spencer, I wanna kiss you again, I wanna make love to you like they do in movies...

She didn't say that out loud, though.

They both sat at a table and ordered cappuccino. Spencer was getting ready to ask her if she knew of any affair her mother might have had. But then she looked him deep in the eyes and said something that made them both feel a mixture of shock and urge to kiss one another.

"Spencer, I'm sorry, but the way you make me feel is just unbearable..."

He opened his mouth, preparing to give her his scientific explanation for feelings of love. But he just couldn't. He stood there, looking at her like she said something he has never heard before. Which he didn't.

He wanted to tell her he felt the same. But how could he know about feelings? His BA on Psychology merely tells him that this girl in front of him is a lonely human being who desperately needs to feel loved and appreciated, and the fact that Spencer held her hand and actually listened to her made her feel like he was perfect for her. What his BA in Psychology didn't tell him, though, was how he was supposed to handle a girl falling in love with him the way she was.

Inexplicably, he felt the exact same. He wanted her. She wanted him. They wanted each other more passionately than anyone has ever wanted anyone else.